


Fuck Weapon X

by SuckMyToe



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Karen is a spider, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-08-24 19:53:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16646663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuckMyToe/pseuds/SuckMyToe
Summary: In which Peter wasn't bit on accident and instead a lab rat for Weapon X. And Wade Wilson feels obligated take in the boy in and protect him, even when Shield comes lookin'.





	1. Chapter One - Creepy Karen

“Hello, you've reached 1-800-MRC NIPS. Press 1 for Intimidation. 2 for Maiming. 3 for Murder. Or 4 for light, over the clothes action.” 

“Shut the fuck up, Wade. Stop monopolizing the conversation with your shitty humor and listen for a second.”

“Oof, I love when you get all bossy.”

“Wade, Weapon X has popped up again.”

“Shit…”

“Yeah, shit. Upstate New York. A lab, I believe. I’ll send you the details.”

 

That phone call from Weasel was why Wade is currently scooting down an air vent. His shoulders squeezed together in a way he would definitely be feeling tomorrow morning. Worming his way inch by inch, the squeak of leather rubbing against metal, no doubt, echoing throughout the building. Whelp, there goes the sneaky approach.

{Why didn't we go through the front door?}

[We needed a key card, remember? And Weasel couldn't get one on such short notice.]

{Right… still think we should've blasted through the door. I feel like our arms have become Magic Worms™}

Man, those were great. Do they still sell those in stores?

[Maybe and this is just a suggestion, we should focus on the mission. Also maybe focus on the fact we haven’t heard anything except our own squeaking since we’ve arrived]

That is weird. Wade pauses and listens closely, the only noise to be heard is the distant drips of a sink? Multiple leaky sinks? There was definitely the wasting of some liquid and something equally wet. Crying. Not loud and wailing. More like quiet sniffles. You know, not quite ‘I just got broken up with on the final round of the bachelor’ and more ‘I got rejected from appearing on the bachelor’.

Wade shimmies to the nearest grate and punches it out. He lets out a low hiss as it clunks loudly onto the ground. The sniffling abruptly stops as Wade takes in the gruesome scene before him.

The room is bathed in red. From not only the emergency backup lights, but also the copious amount of blood dripping from the walls, the ceiling, the lights. Bodies in lab coats soaked in gore hang from the ceiling, wrapped in… webbing? Mummified scientists. The metallic stench is overpowering. Not even Wade made this much of a mess on the job.

{Seems like someone did our job for us. Also a lot better than us, I mean we can make quite the mess, but this is...}

[Deeply disturbing?]

{Impressive.}

Wade squirms his way out of the vent, crawling his way onto the floor. Grimacing as blood soaks into his suit. He was planning on getting blood on his suit, but not while crawling through another person’s handy work. He stands, wiping his hands on his thighs. These damn millennials taking our jobs. 

He tiptoes his way through overturned tables, trays, scattered medical tools and glass. Carefully listening to his surroundings. The drip of blood sounds almost like really light rain if you close your eyes. Wade jolts to a stop as a loud bang echoes through the small room, coming from behind him. He slowly turns around, scanning the room as he goes.

“Alright, whoever’s in here better come out, cause I’m blowin’ this place to hell pretty soon. Wouldn’t wanna be stuck in here if I were you.” He waited, and… waited. Whoever was out there apparently didn’t believe in his threat. Wade makes a show of taking out a grenade. Definitely not enough to blow this building to the ground, but hopefully enough to lure out our little mass murderer… or perhaps last survivor of a horrific event.

Wade squints his eyes into the darkness as he listens to the slow shuffle of bare feet approaching him. A small, lithe figure, a boy, basked in red light. No. Red blood. No. Both. Wearing a loose hospital gown and holding a glass case close to their chest as they inch forward hesitantly. Though the boy’s face and hair is matted with blood, Wade can see gentle, soft feature and large brown eyes. His expression, haunted. 

{Carrie over here is kinda hot.}

[What is wrong with you?]

{A lot.}

“Okay, didn’t expect that… Are you okay? What’s your name?” Wade inches towards him, but the boy stumbles back slightly, freezing up. Wade holds up his hands placatingly. Pocketing his grenade.

“It’s...Pete-Peter.” His voice is barely above a whisper, cracked and strained, but it’s something. Enough for Wade to crack a small smile.

“Nice to meet you, Petey. I’m Wade.” Peter stares at him or rather his mask for a long moment, calculating, brows drawn. Understandable, he’s a weird man in a red leather suit with 50lbs of weapons strapped to him. “So, did you… uh… do this?”

Apparently this was the wrong question because tears start to well up in the boy’s eyes, looking utterly distraught and panicked. He starts to stumble helplessly on his words.

“No! I-I didn’t mean to… They were gonna hurt her- or-or kill her. Th-They were gonna take Karen away from me! I h-had to do something-”

“Woah, woah, slow down. Who’s Karen? Girlfriend? Mom? Little Sister?” Peter stares at him for a moment before unfolding his arms to reveal what’s inside the small glass case. A white, nearly glowing spider with longs legs and large body, eight little black eyes stare up at him in way that makes him want to squirm. Even though the glass case is smudged with dark red, Wade can see tiny white hairs on the legs and body. “Uh, this is Karen?”

He nods frantically, holding the case close to his body once again. His eyes are drawn suddenly to the swords on Wade’s back, fixating. “Are you here to kill me?”

Wade sputters, as if he doesn’t a multitude of weapons strapped to his body. “No, no, of course not. I mean unless you experiment on people against their will, you kinda look like you were on the opposite end of all that.”

Peter grimaces. “... You’re not backup?”

Wade laughs. “No, baby boy. I would never work for these assholes. In fact, I was here to do destroy this place, but looks like you did it for me. Still gonna blow it up, of course. Can’t leave any pieces for them to glue back together… Did they call for backup?”

He points to man with his throat ripped out, his hand shaking and a distant look in his eye. “He tried to.”

{Like I said ‘hot’.}

[Can someone please rip your throat out?]

“Wowsers, you went whole ham, huh?” Peter averts his eyes, but there isn’t really anywhere in the room that’s not covered in carnage. He squeezes his eyes shut, rubbing at them with his palms. Wade decides to take pity on him, carefully placing an arm around. “Let’s get out of here. We can talk outside.”

They stumble there way out the back door of the lab. Peter seems to have several shards of glass embedded in his feet, but doesn’t seem to notice or care. Wade makes a quick call to Dopinder to pick them up. Peter sinks to rest on the ground, leaning against the concrete wall. He watches Karen slowly spin a web within her case. Wade briefly goes back in to place thermals and a time bomb within the main room. When he returns Peter is curled up on the ground, seemingly asleep, clutching Karen close.

{Aw, murderous rampages can be very tiring.}

[In all seriousness, what are we going to do with the kid?]

{Aw, can’t we take him home? Preferably without the Creepy Karen.}

Wade thought he’d just drop him off at his parents or next of kin. Although it’s 2 in the morning and the boy is coated in blood, Wade would be arrested on the spot. Not to mention spider powers he can’t control. Looks like he’s coming home with us at least for the night.

{Yay!}

[Ugh.]

Wade crouches beside Peter and carries him bridal style to the main road and waits for Dopinder’s cab.


	2. Chapter Two - Fresh Princh

Dopinder surprisingly doesn’t question or even react to the bloodied boy in the backseat. The ride is long and quiet enough for Petey to stay asleep. Still clutching the glass case closely like a security blanket, while taking up about three fourths of the backseat. His face is scrunched up even in his sleep, jaw clenched. 

{Aw, what a precious little killer.}

[I don’t think he’d appreciate being called a killer… or you leering at him]

“We’re here, Mr. Pool.” Wade snaps his gaze from Peter. 

“Thanks, my fabulous friend. You’re a life-saver. Crisp high five?” After a resounding enthusiastic slapping of hands, Wade lifts the sleeping Peter from the cab and carries him to his apartment. Man, New York is fucked, you can carry an unconscious blood covered boy in a hospital gown and barely get a glance. 

Peter doesn’t even wakes up when they’re in Wade’s dank, brick apartment and softly placing him down on an L-shaped couch. Wade scans the loft apartment, the spiral staircase leading to his bed and a small corner kitchen with outdated amenities. It was definitely better than most with built in washer, dryer, and even a dishwasher. It’s expensive as fuck, but Wade could afford it. 

But the best of all, a decently sized tub and shower that Wade fills up with steaming hot water and of course bubbles. Peter is probably not gonna want to just wait until the blood flakes of his skin.

[Ew.]

Wade sets out a towel and some of his more comfortable clothes on the sink counter. When Wade returns to the living room Peter is wide awake. Large doe eyes scan the area in panic. Wade rushes over to couch he’s currently huddled in the corner of. 

“Hey, Petey, it’s okay, it’s me.” Peter takes a deep breath, his shoulders slumping. “I didn’t know if you had any family to go to or you wanted to go to the police, so I brought you to my apartment, okay?” 

“No police!”

“Yeah, I figured. Look, why don’t you get cleaned up, patch you up and you can decide if you’d like to stay here with me for a while?” Pete nods slowly, easing himself off the couch, hissing lowly as his feet brush the ground. He cautiously sets Karen down on the coffee table, eyeing Wade the entire time. “I'm not gonna hurt Karen. Cross my heart and hope to die. Won't even look at her.” 

Peter finally lets go, letting out a huff of breath. Wade slowly leads him to bathroom. “Alright, towels are here, got clothes for ya on the sink and if you need anything just holler. Man, I'm such a good host.”

Wade goes to shut the door behind, but it stops halfway through, a small bloodied hand curled onto the white wood. Peter looks up at Wade panicked. “Don't you want privacy, Pete?”

“Privacy?”

“Yeah, here I'll leave it partially open, okay?” Wade leaves about 5 inches of space between the door and the trimming. “Is this okay?”

He hears a small nervous hum of agreement on the other side and watches Peter's hand slowly uncurl and disappears. 

{Wow, what did they do to that kid? He's a nervous wreck. Fuck Weapon X, man.}

[I usually wouldn't agree with you, but yeah fuck Weapon X.]

Wade nods along to the boxes, not wanting to scare Peter by talking to them. He decides to make some pancakes while waiting, switching on the T.V. for some background noise. The only thing playing this late is infomercials and the Fresh Prince of Bel-air.

He changes into his own clothes, leaving his mask and gloves on. No need to give the kid more trauma. After about 45 minutes he can hear the tub start to drain over the Fresh Prince theme song. By this time he's made way too many pancakes and hopes Petey has a big appetite. 

{That kid? No way. He looks like he could eat half of one. Tops.}

Peter comes out clean and swimming in Wade's sweatshirt and pajamas. His hair is a little damp, but slowly drying into fluffy curls. Wade only notices now that under the caked blood is freckles. Lots of freckles. Faded from lack of sunlight, but still there. Intense dark circles accentuate his big, round eyes. 

{It seems scary Carrie has transformed into beautiful Bambi.}

[Should you really be hitting on a trauma victim?]

{It’s not like he can hear me?... Unless he’s a mindreader?! Quick! Think of Danny DeVito eating trash! Throw him off the trail!}

Wade cringes slightly at Yellow’s loud panic as Petey hesitantly makes his way to the kitchen. “I made some pancakes, I can also make some mean omelets if you’re thinking savory, but pancakes are my specialty.”

Pete stares at his pile of pancakes with can only be described as unconditional love and affection. Wade both their plates to the couch with the butter, syrup and whip cream, Peter following like a lost puppy. Digging in with a forkful much too big for his mouth. Wade decides it’s safe to start on his own stack, easing his mask halfway up. He stops eating when he hears sniffling from beside him. 

{Wow, look what your ugly face did! He’s crying.}

Wade pulls his mask down instantly and turns to Peter to find tears streaming down his smooth face as he stuffs his face with pancake and whip cream. In any other situation it would be comical to watch. “Hey, are you okay? I didn’t mean to upset ya, Petey-”

“What? No- no, I just… this… I haven’t had food this good, warm good food in a… really long time… I haven’t felt good in a really long time. Thank you.” His voice is a little squeaky and wet, but it’s filled with so much gratitude it makes Wade freeze in place. This is the most he’s talked to Wade and of course it had to be the saddest, sweetest thing he’s ever heard. It’s just pancakes.

{Damn, our pancakes must be magical or something.}

[Or this kid has really, really low standards.]

“Do you mind if I ask how long you were there?” Wade speaks quietly in almost a whisper. Even as Peter lets out mirthless laugh.

“I wasn’t in the same spot the entire time. Guess it depends… What’s the date?”

“December 3rd, 2018.” Peter’s eyes widen slightly, a small quiver to his lip. He stuffs a large piece of pancake in his mouth as if to postpone his answer. Wade’s about to tell to forget about it, that it was a dumb question, but he speaks up, voice small and fragile.

“Fudge, I missed graduation by about a year and a half… I was there for 4 and half years.” Wade was only with Weapon X for a short while, he can’t imagine being there for a year, much less 4 and a half. The kid was taken at the age of 15, if his math is right. Wade’s heart seems to not be able to handle this information as it twists painfully. And Wade entire body seems to agree, filling with hot, tempered rage. He has a hard time keeping his voice from spilling with venom.

“Fuck…” Peter nods along, stuffing his mouth again, but chewing is slow and stilted as if the subject matter makes it hard to swallow. Wade starts to regret bringing it up, when Peter smiles slightly, it’s not strong or that happy really, but it’s soft and serene.

“I’m out now, I imagined the moment I’d finally be free for years and it’s better than I could imagine. I mean I’m eating pancakes for dinner, while watching sitcoms at 4am! This was my dream at 15!” The enthusiastic statement, makes Wade let out a hysterical laugh.

{Who the fuck is this kid?! Holy fuck!}

[He’s either the most optimistic person in the universe or he’s batshit crazy]

{I think either one works in our favor.}


	3. Chapter Three - Obligatory Shopping Montage.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was brought to by domestic bliss and my love of thrift stories. I'm sorry this was completely self indulgent. Who am I kidding every thing I write is self indulgent.

They patch up Peter’s feet, taking the glass shards out before he goes to bed wrapping them with gauze and all. Wade insisted Pete take his bed no matter how much he said the couch was really comfortable. Someone’s first night from painful imprisonment shouldn’t be spent on a couch, no matter how comfortable.   
Wade gets up early despite how late he went to bed, so that he can make the apartment a little more habitable for Peter. Even cleaning Karen’s glass case of bloodied fingerprints, though it does creep him out as she stares at him the entire time. The eight-eyed demon. 

He’s about to go wake Peter up, so they can get more substantial food than pancakes in him when the motherfucker drops from the ceiling right in front of him. And no he did not let out an undignified screech. It was the piping in the apartment, not him.

“Jesus fuck! How?! Why?!” Peter is still in the position he landed in, crouched down, knees bent before stretching to his full height. Which is not exactly impressive or even average. A confused expression on his face.

“Part spider. I didn’t want to take the stairs.” He says it like it’s the most simple thing in the world.

“Okay, spidermonkey. Fair enough, just, uh, don’t do that in public. I know it’s been awhile, but people don’t crawl on the ceilings.”

“Pft, I know that. We’re going outside?” Peter asks hesitantly. Wade guesses he should prepared for Pete being a little nervous to re-enter the outside world after 4 years. Especially the busy city of New York. But he was kind of hoping he would be more excited than scared.

“I know it seems a little daunting, but we need to get you clothes, food, you know the essentials. Promise we’ll go straight home if it’s too much.” Wade holds out his pinky finger, Pete smiles sweetly at the childish gesture, hooking his pinky with Wade’s. Kissing his thumb he presses it to the taller’s, watching as his mask stretches with a grin. 

It takes a while for Wade to convince Peter to leave Karen at home, but they finally leave the apartment. They decide to get clothes first as Peter looks like he’s being eaten alive by Wade’s. They visit a couple thrifts stores .He has a hard time believing he can pick out whatever he wants, no matter how many times Wade says money isn’t a problem. He has to point out that their at a thrift store, emphasis on thrift several times before Peter finally starts picking things out.

Wade can’t deny it’s fascinating watching him float through the aisles, his eyes lighting up as he sees something he likes. He seems to be drawn to reds and yellows. Maybe it’s a spider thing? He also seems to also be drawn to warmth and comfort. Sticking to sweatshirts, joggers, grandpa cardigans and fluffy socks. 

At one point he finds a big yellow jacket with a little white spider embroidered on the breast pocket, a genuine excited grin as he shows Wade. If his heart clenches at the sight, well no one has to know. 

{Except us, bitch. That shit’s cute!}

[Jeez, you guys are easy.]

He convinces Peter to try on some pretty ridiculous things, if only to hear the hysterical giggles on the other side of the changing room door. He tries on a cowboy outfit, A floor length fur coat, and an outfit straight out of a 90s rap video. He somehow looks good in all them, well except the cowboy outfit, he looks more like a kid dressed up like a cowboy than an actual cowboy. No matter how many times he says howdy and yee-haw. 

They drop the clothes at home. Giving Peter a chance to change in to clothes that fit. Pete complains the whole time about having to wear shoes. Prefering to be barefoot, apparently he hasn't worn shoes in 4 years and doesn't intend to start now. He quickly assents when Wade mention it’s New York in December. Plus, the cuts on his feet aren’t even close to healed. Apparently this spider doesn’t come with advanced healing. 

“I’m just saying if I need to climb on the walls at the supermarket, I’m just gonna have to use my hands which just looks ridiculous.” Wade snorts as Peter walks out, fully dressed in a black sweatshirt, his yellow jacket, jeans and fur lined winter boots. 

“You better not. God, I can’t believe I’m the responsible one.” Wade stuffs a knit hat onto Peter’s head much to his dismay and starts to wrap him in a long, fluffy scarf. Ignoring the soft grumbles and swatting hands. “Stop squirming, it’s freezing outside.” 

{It’s been a day and you’re already mothering him.}

They get some tacos first and man Peter can really pack him down. He eats about ten street tacos before slowing down. Attacking them like they might be taken away from at any second. It makes Wade wonder if he had to worry about that at the lab. 

The grocery store definitely stresses Peter out, with the crowds and tall shelves. He clutches to the back of Wade’s jacket with sticky fingers whenever they have to squeeze past people. He has a hard picking out things again, though this seems to be more about decision-fatigue. He smells about 20 different types of shampoo before deciding on one. 

“My senses are heightened.” He explains when he cringes at a particularly strong sandalwood scented shampoo he hasn’t even opened. He decides on a lightly rose-scented one. Stuffing it under Wade’s nose for his a opinion. He has to take a long sniff to smell with his mask in the way, it’s a lovely scent though.

They leave the store with probably too much stuff, taking a taxi back. Dopinder must be getting tired of them. By the end of their shopping adventure Peter is exhausted and sworn to never see a group of more than two people ever again. He brings himself out a cat nap though to help Wade make stir fry. 

{Ah, never thought I’d enjoy domestic bliss.}

[It’s been ONE day, y’all need to chill the fuck out.]


	4. Chapter Four - That Smug Bitch Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh I've been debating rewriting this because I'm never happy, but fuck it. Enjoy my unedited, self-indulgent bullshit. If anything seems like I just made it up, I did. You know ya girl don't outline. Also, why does Phil look smug 24/7. Is it the character? Am I projecting?

2 and a half weeks later…

Wade and Peter have created a perfect system, where they ignore any nightmares or problems they have. Peter with his growing, mass of guilt and recurring memories of mistreatment. Wade's own Weapon X's bullshit. Instead they watch 90s sitcoms, eat greasy food and barely go outside. And it works! About the first week in Wade takes off his mask completely and it stays off. Peter doesn’t even react, not a single negative micro-expression. Not a raise of an eyebrow or crinkle of the nose. In fact if Wade is willing to hope, he sees Peter smile a little wider when he has it off. 

Wade knows if he keeps ignoring job offers from Weasel, he’ll eventually run out of money, meaning his precious Petey goes hungry, but he can’t bring himself to disrupt their routine. Or to leave Peter all alone. Although as evident by Weapon X’s lab, he can definitely take care of himself. Still, Wade has come to rely on him, maybe a little too much. It's nice have him around. Makes a life a little more bearable. 

Though Wade could live without finding webs everywhere or the wall crawling or his love of nesting and collecting in dark corners. All still very lovable and only slightly creepy. Speaking of creepy, Karen has a giant glass terrarium now, with wood to climb, plenty of space for webbing, a little plastic pond for water and lots of crickets. Although Karen creeps Wade out, it was totally worth the brownie points he earned with Peter. 

Who is currently sitting cross-legged on the ground, watching said spider spin an elegant web on the bottom corner of her cage. Wade meanwhile is watching Golden Girls and eating leftovers while pretending he’s not looking over at Peter every 10 seconds. Trying to bring himself to call Weasel for at the very least a local job. 

The apartment is starting to look like a Santa vom’d on every corner, room and wall. A tree Wade insisted be a real, fresh one sat covered head to toe in hazardously placed ornaments. Colorful lights lining every window and door frame. Handmade snowflakes hung from the ceiling and taped to the windows. Even Karen got a tiny fake tree, she did not like it and is now hidden beneath inches of floor bedding and webbing. Peter hadn't been all that thrilled about Christmas. He hadn't celebrated it in years and it felt odd getting excited about something that felt more like a distant memory than an actual thing. Wade insisted he just needed a little help getting into the Christmas mood. Peter went along with it. 

Suddenly Peter shifts, his back straightening as leans towards the front door. His head whips to stare it. His focused face is comically cute and Wade can’t resist. “What is it, Lassie?”

“Someone’s at the door. Or they’re coming to our door. He’s got fancy sounding shoes. They click.” His head tilts to the side as he tries to gather more information, solely on sound.

{God, that’s so weird. I love him. Can we keep him, Papa?}

[He already lives here. And for the love of all that is good, never call me papa ever again.]

No doubt, a steady knock startles Wade despite Peters warning. He jumps from the couch towards the door. Peter leans over to look curiously, but luckily doesn’t follow. Not very surprising though, he still doesn’t seem to like being around strangers, which is anyone, but Wade at this point. 

He swings it open, subconsciously hiding Peter with his body. He’s quite surprised to find Phil there, Phil Coulson. In all his stoic, but slightly amused glory. Like he perpetually knows something you don’t know, which is probably true in most cases. 

“Dr. Phil! Is it time for my check-up? Because I assure you I’m tip-top shape.” Phil doesn’t even register the greeting or rather incoherent ramblings of a man who tries to hide everything with humor.

“Hello, Wilson. I think we need to have a chat.” Shit. That’s not something you want to hear from any Shield agent. Especially, one of their main boos. “In your apartment?”

Phil gestures inside and leans a bit as if to peer in. Wade blocks him, he obviously knows something, probably about Peter. And he doesn’t trust Shield not to lock the boy up to poke and prod at him. Or worse, make him join their boy band.

“Wade, I thought we had an agreement. We leave you alone, you give us any information you have on hydra, threats to Shield... rogue mutants.” Rogue mutant? Peter isn’t a rogue mutant. Well, he did kill a building of people. But it was bad people, evil people, who hurt him and probably many people before him. No matter how much Peter disagrees, no matter how much guilt he felt, they deserved it. 

“Look, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know anything about a rogue mutant. You need a new information guy.” Wade says sternly. Phil does raise an eyebrow this time.

[Are we seriously going to gaslight this guy? This isn’t going to end well.]

“Really? So, this isn’t you and Peter Parker?” He picks out a stack of photos of Wade and Peter out and about. Shopping. Eating. Going to the park. They’d been following for days now. One was even a shot from outside his apartment. “This isn’t the boy who went missing 4 years ago? Cause they look awfully familiar. Sorry if I don’t believe you.”

Wade was angry now. Pissed even. “Following me around, doesn’t really seem like leaving me alone, now does it?”

“We have to check every once in a while if you’re following the rules, make sure you’re not harboring dangerous mutants. You turn him over, on your conditions or we take him in, on our conditions.” 

{Don’t do it! The only reason they’re giving you the option is because they know they can’t stop you.}

[Do it! This is the only way you can insure Peter doesn’t get hurt in the process. If you fight them, they’ll try and kill him.]

{Blow em’ up!}

[For once in your goddamn life, cooperate!]

{AND BETRAY HIM?!}

[AND MAKE SURE HE STAYS ALIVE!]

The escalation of the boxes argument makes Wade flinch. Not catching the look of surprise on Coulson's face. Only realizing Peter is next to him now when he gently pulls Wade behind him. The warmth of his hand on Wade's arm bringing him back to reality. Peter's face is carefully expressionless, a slight twitch of his nose is the only indication of his emotions.

“I'll go with you, but not under yours or Wade's conditions. Just mine.” Phil inspected Peter like he was a complex puzzle. Something told Wade that Coulson would stop at nothing until it was solved.

“Alright and what would those conditions be?”

“Wade comes with me, if he wants to. He can come and go as he pleases. You ask me whatever questions you need to and I will answer honestly, but there will be no testing I don’t agree to first. Also you’ll answer any questions I have or Wade’s. If you believe I’m not a threat by the end, I will continue to live where I please and you will leave us alone.” Wade would be lying if he said Peter’s tone and whole stature didn’t send a shiver down his spine. Not a completely unpleasant shiver either. 

If Phil was at all put-off he didn’t show just smiled pleasantly and said, “I think I can do that, if you come now that is and you bring your pet spider.”

Peter freezes, either Coulson hasn’t seen what happened to the last people who fucked with Karen or he was suicidal. And right now Peter looks like he could and would rip out Phil’s intestines and use it as jumping rope, the dude doesn’t even flinch. So, suicidal it is then. “...Okay, fine… No problem. But! She stays with me at all times and I have to agree to any testing you do. If you hurt her, everything is off the table and all three of us will be leaving.”

“Sounds good. We’ll need to put you cuffs, just a formality.” Peter huffs as Phil follows him into the apartment. Peter puts on his shoes, jacket and gathers Karen into her original small case, whispering unintelligible words to her. Wade stays by the door still very much stunned by the turn of events. 

Coulson reaches for Karen’s case, but Peter pulls the case away from his reaching hands, a dangerous look on his face. He instead places it in Wade’s hands, his fingers lingering on Wade’s in a comforting way. He turns and surrenders his wrists to Phil who slaps an odd looking pair of cuffs on him. Probably some heavy duty shit for mutants. Wade numbly follows them to a black, tinted windowed Humvee.


	5. Chapter Five - Bruce Frickin' Banner

The ride to Shield’s base is awkward and way too long. Wade is too anxious to keep up his usual babble, his boxes have stopped arguing, but are anything but quiet. Seeming to prefer naming every possible way this could go wrong. From Peter being taken away to Peter being killed on sight, and so on and so forth.

As if sensing his inner turmoil, Peter inches his hands closer and hooks his pinky finger with Wade’s. An unspoken promise that everything’s going to be fine. The boxes don’t stop, but they sound like distant chatter now. Background noise. Wade curls his pinky tighter, refusing to let go, he takes solace in Peter doing the same. 

Even Karen seems to sense the tense aura around them. Huddled to one corner of her cage, motionless. Poor thing probably doesn't like being stuffed back in her tiny cage after weeks of freedom. Wade would never admit to stroking the case with his free fingers in what hopes is comforting. No can blame him if Karen has grown on him. A little.

They finally arrive to an oddly shaped building decorated in different shades of neutral gray. Pulling into a heavily armed parking garage with even more varying shades of gray. Not to mention to the amount of people dressed in dull, dark suits.

{You could say that it’s… fifty shades of gray... up in here.}

[Do you think Phil would shoot us if we ask nicely.]

{Kinky. Does that make Philly Cheese Steak our Mr.Grey.}

Wade doesn’t realize that he and Peter are both still in their pajamas until they’re being escorted into a large glass elevator. Wade is wearing his house slippers, Grinch lounge pants and a red sweatshirt. It looks almost comical next to bleak and cold colors around him. Peter isn’t much better with an ugly christmas sweater under his yellow jacket.

Neither Wade or Peter expect the stares when they exit the elevator. Wade always expects stares, but usually they’re at his face or his suit or his weapons. In this instance though all the attention seems to be on Peter as they pass a small room of 16 or so agents. They don’t full on glare, but rather steal intrigued or disturbed glances as they pretend to work diligently on computers and workstations. 

They’re brought into an interrogation room of sorts, complete with the two-way mirror and everything. Phil attaches Peter’s handcuffs to a metal bar protruding from the table forcing him to sit in one of the three chairs. Wade takes a one scoots as close as he can to Peter’s, setting Karen on the table in between them . 

Phil paces a bit before leaning over them, hands placed firmly on the table. A novice attempt at intimidation, Wade would know. “Now, I would just like say before we begin that we appreciate your cooperation. Both of you. However a lot of people here believe your nothing more than a dangerous mutant, Peter. Especially, after seeing the videos we were able to retrieve of your time at Weapon X.”

“What?” Peter eyes are wide and glossy, suppressed horror makes his voice hushed. “But the building-”

“Was destroyed, I know. The videos were being sent somewhere else. We were given these videos anonymously and we’re still trying trace it. I don’t believe your dangerous Peter, just put in a bad situation. And watching the videos, it’s obvious you weren’t aware of what you were doing. 

“But that doesn’t change the fact that others here think you should be locked up. I think it would really change their mind, if you agreed to a blood test. Allow one of our scientists to examine you... And if and only if you feel safe enough, we can take a look at your spider.”

Peter looks a lot less confident and scary than he did just a couple minutes ago. He absentmindedly plays with the sleeves of his sweater before nodding minutely. The news of there being video of the event that haunts his conscience and his nightmares. And that video reviewed by a ton agents that think him an animal, definitely takes the fight out him. 

It hurts Wade in turn to see Peter this way. Not that there’s much Wade can do to make this go away. He resists the urge hug him when Coulson leaves to bring back some nerd. He doesn’t resist the urge to press his shoulder to Peter’s. Though he nearly leaps out his seat when he feels Peter lean on him, resting his head on him. 

“Thanks for coming with me...” Pete whispers.

“Aw, come on. You don’t have to thank me for that. I would’ve gone nuclear on Shield’s ass if they took you away. Staying at home wasn’t option, baby boy. Phil would’ve been shish kabobed before you say… Well, shish kabob. ” Peter giggles incredulously.

“Oh my god, don’t say that. They have ears everywhere.” Wade is about to respond when Phil returns, Bruce Banner following closely behind. The perpetually nervous man wears his wrinkled lab coat like a security blanket. Peter immediately perks up upon seeing him leaving Wade to miss his warmth. 

“You- You’re Bruce Banner.” Peter pulls on his cuffs abruptly as if it press his hands to his cheeks in admiration. The movement makes Bruce flinch and Peter cringe. “Sorry, when imagined meeting you, I definitely wasn’t in handcuffs or in my pajamas.” 

Bruce laughs nervously. “Big fan of the Hulk?”

“Huh? Oh, no. You helped me get into Midtown. I mean the essay I did on your gamma radiation thesis got me in… I never got to go, but in Junior High I read everything of yours, anything I could my hands on!” Bruce looked beyond speechless. Peter suddenly turns to Wade, whispering not so quietly. “Is that creepy? Am I being creepy? Did I scare him?”

“No, no. You’re good, but you do sound like a fucking nerd.” Wade says in a way that is far too fond.

“Come on, it’s Bruce frickin’ Banner-”

“Hey, no goddamn motherfucking cussing.”

“I said frickin’. Why can’t I say fu-”

“Can we please move on?” Coulson interjects, snapping Bruce out his stupor. He nods meekly, moving to Peter’s side as he prepares his arm. Getting Phil to uncuff him. He ties a blue rubber tourniquet to his bicep and poking at his veins. He stops to stare at the small bump on his wrist.

“Webs.” Peter mumbles and boy does Bruce wanna ask a million questions. 

“You’ve got some nice veins. Thought I’d need a 25 gauge, 18 will be perfect.” Bruce mutters to himself, while searching for his preferred vein, cleaning his skin and sticking it with a needle. Peter has to turn his head away at the eerie feeling of his blood being sucked out from a tiny metal straw.

“I think Bruce beat you in the creepy department. Apparently you got juicy veins.” Wade whispers, leaning close to Peter. He laughs, appreciating the distraction. He didn’t mind needles before Weapon X, but now...

“Don’t move… There, I’ll test that later.” Bruce produces a small tube of Peter’s blood and places it in his lab coat pocket. “Right now, I want to meet your pet spider.”


End file.
